WhatDoISay.Org
Medically approved words to send
When in-person is too hard
Our words, your connection, their hope
WhatDoISay.Org
Medically approved words to send
When in-person is too hard
Our words, your connection, their hope
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“I might be wrong but it seems like you're not in a good place. Can I ask you about it?”
“I am worried about you. Would you say you are feeling fairly OK, bad, or terrible?”
“Can I ask how you are feeling on a 1 to 10 scale?”
“I’ve noticed that you ………. ( state what you have noticed). Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I feel a bit worried about you. Can we have a chat?”
“Are you feeling OK at the moment or does everything feel like it is getting on top of you?”
“It sounds like things are really tough at the moment. Has it got so bad that you wish you did not wake up in the morning?”
“Are you having thoughts about suicide or maybe thinking other people would be better off if you were not around?”
“I care about you and am feeling really worried about you right now. I want you to be safe. I have to ask are you thinking about suicide or harming yourself or taking risks?”
“The things that you’ve been saying make me wonder if you’re thinking about suicide. I'm here for you if you want talk about it.”
“Are you finding it hard to go on living right now? Do you feel safe?”
“Are you actually having thoughts of suicide? Are these thoughts strong, medium or weak?”
“I wanted to check in to see how you're travelling? You've had a lot to deal with lately.”
“I've been thinking about you, and all these changes you've had to handle. How are you going?”
“You’re not acting like your usual self. Is everything ok?”
“I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking more and I'm wondering if you are stressed or worried about something. Can I help?”
“You often seem to have no energy. What’s brought this on?”
“It seems you have a lot going on at the moment and that you are a bit down. Do you think you might be depressed?”
“You’ve been really hard on yourself lately. Do you think you might be depressed?”
“Are you depressed? You seem sad and a bit withdrawn.”
“Hey, I haven’t heard from you or seen you for a while, are you ok?”
“Are things so bad that you're thinking about suicide?”
“When you’re thinking about your situation, what thoughts are going through your head?”
“Are things just so tough that you feel like giving up?”
“Have things gotten so bad that you’ve thought about hurting yourself or ending your life?”
“Sometimes when people talk about the feelings/situations you’ve been describing, they’re thinking about suicide. Are you?”
“I notice you've been spending less time with family and friends. Is something wrong?”
“I've noticed you haven’t been yourself for a while now and I am concerned about you. Can you talk to me about it?”
“I’ve noticed we haven’t managed to connect lately. I’m wondering if you’re ok - I am worried about you and want you to know I’m here for you. Would you like to talk?”
“I have noticed you don't seem to be enjoying things like you used to and I am concerned something is wrong. Is there something you can share with me?”
“I have noticed that you have been looking upset lately and seem a little distant. Is something difficult for you at the moment? I'm here to listen when you want to talk.”
“I’ve noticed you don’t go outside much anymore. I'd really like to stay close. Would you like me to come over, or even meet for a coffee?”
“Hey, quick check—are you safe with yourself right now?”
“Do you want to talk now or later today? I'm free after school/arvo.”
“When it hits hard, what's helped even a tiny bit before?”
“Want me to check in again tonight? I can set a reminder.”
“What made today extra heavy, if you're cool to share?”
“Have you had any thoughts about ending your life lately?”
“If those thoughts show up, are they mild / strong / overwhelming?”
“Who else feels safe to loop in—mum, sis, bestie, a trusted adult?”
“Would a short walk or FaceTime help right now?”
“If we planned the next 2–3 hours, what's step one?”
“Anything around you (meds/alcohol/other stuff) that could make things riskier?”
“If it gets worse suddenly, what's the fastest way I can reach you?”
“Want me to stay on while you text/chat a support line?”
“If late-night gets rough, how do you want me to support you—call, text, memes?”
“What's one tiny thing (5%) that could make this hour gentler?”
“Are things so bad you wish you did not wake up in the morning?”
“Do you actually wish you were not alive?”
“Are those thoughts weak, medium or strong?”
“Have you thought about doing something to yourself?”
“Are those thoughts about doing something to yourself weak, medium or strong?”
“Mate, I'm worried about you. Talk to me.”
“Something's off with you. What's going on?”
“I'm not going to pretend I haven't noticed. You okay?”
“I know you hate talking about this stuff. I do too. But here we are. Can you talk?”
“Seriously though — behind all the jokes — are you doing okay?”
“I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately. I'm asking as a friend, not a colleague — what is getting to you?”
“What can I do now or organise for you to make your life a bit easier?”
“Is there anything I can do to take the pressure off you?”
“If I was distressed, what do you think would help me?”
Learn how to gently ask someone if they're thinking about ending their life.
Eleven progressive questions about suicideMore messages, More people, More protection