WhatDoISay.Org
Medically approved words to send
When in-person is too hard
Our words, your connection, their hope
WhatDoISay.Org
Medically approved words to send
When in-person is too hard
Our words, your connection, their hope
“I think I know what's been going on and I want you to know it hasn't changed anything about how I feel about you. You're still my person.”
“I found out and I just need you to know — I'm not judging you. I'm not telling anyone. I'm just really worried and I want to help.”
“Have you ever talked to anyone about what is forcing you to do this? A GP, a counsellor, a therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist? Because I really think it would help.”
“I don't fully understand what you're going through but I know you're hurting and I'm not okay with just pretending I haven't noticed.”
“I've been trying to figure out how to say this for a while. I know things have been really dark for you. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”
“You don't have to explain anything to me. I already care about you. I just want you to know you don't have to deal with whatever this is alone.”
“I read on the Net there are some techniques you can use to distract your brain until the urge to hurt yourself passes. Do you know about these suggestions from people who have been there?”
“Would you advise me to do what you are doing?”
“I am worried that you seem to be treating yourself badly and giving your health a tough time.”
“I am worried you seem to be taking risks.”
“What happened seemed pretty risky. Did you realise that at the time?”
“I know you've probably been keeping this hidden and that must have been exhausting. You don't have to hide it from me.”
“I noticed. I've been thinking about what to say for days. And what I kept coming back to is — I just really care about you and I'm scared.”
“I know you've been hurting yourself. I'm not freaking out and I'm not angry. I just love you and I'm really worried about you.”
“I need you to know that what you're going through is more common than you think. That doesn't make it okay but it means you're not weird, you're not broken, and you're not the only one.”
“A lot of people who hurt themselves are actually some of the most sensitive, empathetic, caring people around. That's not a coincidence. You feel things deeply. That's not a flaw.”
“You are not damaged. You are not beyond help. You are someone in a lot of pain who found a way of coping that isn't good for you. That is completely different from being broken.”
“I know you probably feel like if people really knew what was going on they would see you completely differently. I know. I know. And I'm telling you — I know, and I see you exactly the same way.”
“The shame around this is real and it's horrible and it's also not deserved. You haven't done something disgusting. You've done something that made sense to you when you were in pain. That's different.”
“Keeping this secret is heavy and lonely. I want to help you put some of that weight down. You don't have to carry the secret around me.”
“You're not the only person your age going through this. Not even close. And the ones who get through it do so because someone helped them find better ways to cope. Let me help you be one of those people.”
“I get that when everything feels completely out of control, hurting yourself can feel like the one thing you can control. I get it. But I don't want that for you and I think there are other ways.”
“I know you're not doing this for attention. I know it's because you're in real pain. And that pain is real and it makes sense. I just want to help you find a way through it that doesn't cost you.”
“The feelings that lead you to hurt yourself — those feelings are real and valid. I'm not dismissing them. I just think you deserve to find a way to handle them that doesn't leave marks.”
“I know it helps in the moment. I'm not going to pretend I don't understand that. But it scares me and I think there's got to be a better way to get through those moments — and I want to help you find it.”
“Whatever is making things feel this unbearable — I want to understand it. Not so I can fix it with a pep talk but because I think if you had proper support, you wouldn't need to hurt yourself to cope.”
“You've been in so much pain and you've been dealing with it alone. That's too much. Nobody should have to carry that much alone. Please let me help you carry some of it.”
“I know that hurting yourself feels like it releases something. But I want you to be able to release that without hurting yourself. I think that's possible with the right help.”
“I want to be there for you but I also know that what you're going through needs more than I can give you. A proper therapist — someone who actually knows about this stuff — could really help. Can we look into it together?”
“I'm not trying to pass you off to someone else. I'm still here. But I think you need someone who knows how to help with this specifically. There are people who are really good at it.”
“I know therapy feels like a massive step. But what you're going through is a massive thing. You deserve proper support, not just me trying my best at midnight.”
“Is there one adult in your life you could tell? Just one? I'll help you figure out what to say. I'll come with you. But I think it's time someone older knows.”
“There are therapists who specifically work with young people going through exactly this. They won't judge you. They've heard it before. And they actually know how to help.”
“What if we looked up a counsellor together right now? Just looked. No commitment. I just want you to see that there is proper help out there and it's closer than you think.”
“Your GP is a good first step and they are completely confidential. I can help you make the appointment and I'll go with you. You won't have to explain it alone.”
“I know you're going to say you're fine. I know. And I love you. And I also know you're not fine and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.”
“You can tell me to mind my own business. That's fair. But I'm going to keep checking in because you matter to me and that doesn't switch off.”
“I'm not going anywhere. You can go quiet, you can ignore my messages for a bit, but I'm going to still be here when you're ready.”
“I'm not asking you to fix everything right now. I'm just asking you not to disappear on me. Can you give me that much?”
“I know you don't want to make it a big deal. I understand that. I'm just saying — to me, you are a big deal. And so is this.”
“If you want to pretend this conversation didn't happen for a bit, that's okay. I'll let you. But I'll bring it up again because I care too much not to.”
“Are you safe right now? Please just tell me you're safe. I'm here.”
“I need you to put down whatever you're thinking about doing and just talk to me for a bit. Please. Just for a bit.”
“Can you get yourself somewhere safe right now — another room, outside, anywhere — and call me? I want to hear your voice.”
“I know it feels like the only option right now. It's not. Please give me ten minutes before you do anything.”
“I know the urge feels overwhelming right now. Can we try to ride it out together? I'll stay on the phone with you. I'm not going anywhere.”
“Please don't do anything right now. Tell me where you are. I'm coming or I'm staying on the phone — whichever you need.”
“Whatever is happening right now — please reach out to me before you do anything. One message. That's all. Just tell me you need me.”
“I'll be there ASAP if you wish.”
“Do you want me to look up some places on the Net that give expert advice on fighting the urge to hurt yourself?”
“I've been thinking about you since we talked and I just wanted to say again — I'm really glad you told me. That took guts.”
“Last night was a lot. I just want you to know today feels the same as before — you're still you, I'm still me, and I'm still your friend.”
“I'm not going to bring it up every time we talk. But I'm also not going to pretend it didn't happen. I'm just going to be your friend — a friend who knows and cares.”
“You let me in to something really private. I don't take that lightly. I want to prove to you that you made the right call telling me.”
“I know you're probably feeling a bit weird about what you told me. Please don't. I meant everything I said.”
“I'm checking in — not because I think you're about to do something, just because I care and I want you to know I'm thinking about you.”
“We don't have to talk about it today. I just wanted to say hi and make sure you knew I was still here.”
“I know. I'm here. Talk to me.”
“Please stop hurting yourself. I need you whole.”
“You don't have to do this alone.”
“I'm not judging you. Not even a little.”
“This isn't who you have to be.”
“You deserve better than this. I mean that.”
“I'm worried about you. Really worried.”
“Please get some help. I'll come with you.”
“I love you and this scares me.”
“You matter too much to me for this.”
“I see you. All of you. And I'm not going anywhere.”
“You are not broken. You are hurting. Different thing.”
“Talk to me before you do anything. Please.”
“I'd rather an awkward conversation than lose you to this.”
“This isn't something you have to hide from me anymore.”
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